Story Time

                                                   

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MAMA

Emotions are useful deceit and tactic to man.

I never understood what this statement meant until I began to understand. It's like manipulation with consent. Interesting.

Growing up, I always wondered what it felt like to be in my parents shoes, always having to worry about what we would eat, our school fees, rents etc.

I didn’t want to have kids because having children is a decision that comes with the responsibilities I was not willing to take.

I did have kids, I had a child, she was beautiful, she was an angel but she was gone before the sun rose.

It was tragic.

I was heart broken, something I never thought I was capable of feeling.

It went on for days, weeks and even months, until one morning, I woke up and I was numb, I felt nothing.

I guess you could say I was finally immune to this feeling called hurt.

I believed I was no longer capable of loving,

No!

I never wanted to love anyone again because that person could become my weakness, making it easy for me to be manipulated.

And manipulation is something I did to people not something they did to me.

The hard part is getting into their head, once you are there, the rest becomes history.

Observation is very important in this step, you need to sit, then observe before you plan your move.

People would do anything, if the life of someone they deeply love is on the line. I am aware of this, because I was once in their shoes.

Being alive is unstable, in the end, the purpose of life is change.

I knew this, but what I did not understand that the change could happen when you least expect it to do so.

The young girl starred at me from the side walk, she looked frightened as the man pointed the gun to her. He was smiling.

I just starred, unsure of what to do. She was the only thing I saw, the only one in my world, how could this be happening?

There was something in her eyes, something that kept pulling me until I could no longer resist, I gave in.  

Without a second thought, everything went blank. Gunshots were heard, a body falling to the side, Police siren filling the atmosphere. My shirt stained with blood.

The blood of someone i was not given a chance to know.

As officers surrounded the scene and ask questions, the little girl ran to me and called me something I never thought I would hear again,

She called me mama.

 Written by 

Janna Onyemaobi